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Blue Moon Rite of the Sacred Sock Monkey
By Lady Shadow

Circle set up
Sock Monkey Altar set up in the north
At the West a bowl of blue water to anoint with
At the North an ashtray
Altar set up
Sock Monkey and other monkeys
Cigarettes and lighter and/or squeaky dog toy
Lit candles
Blue Gelatin "Jigglers"
Blue bread
Blue fruit drink
Brazier with charcoal
Mugwort (for incense)
Little bits of blue paper

GATHERING IN:
PS: This is a very sacred night and for such a night we need a special rite.

P: The "Moose Mass" is just such a rite.

PS: Ever since Rocky and Bullwinkle, people have, in times of great need called upon the spirit of "Moose" this spirit comes to us in many ways. The Chocolate ritual, the coffee ritual, The Bill the Cat rite, and of course the Bullwinkle Path.

P: Tonight we welcome a new manifestation of this divine spirit. We call upon Sock Monkey

CAST CIRCLE
The P takes bits of blue paper and scattering them around the circle calls out Spirit of Blue Moon, Trickster and Fool
Be with us here as we change the Rule,
Round we go, first here then not,
Cause a circle's what we got."

CALL THE QUARTERS
The PS take the cigarette, lighter and/or dog toy from the altar and walks to the south. Light the cigarette, and wave cigarette/toy at the south and intone.

"Hi!"

Cross from south to east. Take deep puff and blow smoke out ostentatiously. Wave cigarette/toy at east and intone.

"Hi!"

Cross from east to west. Dunk the cigarette/toy in the bowl of blue water. Wave the cigarette/toy at the west and intone.

"Hi!"

Cross from west to north and stub cigarette/toy in ashtray. Wave cigarette/toy at north and intone.

"Hi!"

INVOKE THE SOCK MONKEY
The PS stands before the Sock Monkey and holds hands out in an invoking manner.

"I invoke and call upon you, O Mighty ruler of Silliness. Bringer of Fun and Good times! I invoke thee of Grooming and Stroking, Jumping and Staring for no reason, by Herb and Brew and all manner of Consciousness - Altering Substances, to descend into this Figure of This thy servant and Priest. See with his eyes - ingest with his mouth - groom with his paws so that thy servants may be fulfilled." (Take the bowl from the west and anoint the group.)

Walk to the center of the circle, raise arms, and call: "oh, oh, ah, ah, ah!" Repeat as needed.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
P:"We are here to celebrate the "Blue Moon" with the innocence of youth to see beyond the rules of not only our daily lives, but the very rules of our chosen faith."

CHARGE OF THE SOCK MONKEY
PS:"Here now the words of the Sacred Sock Monkey. Who in days past was known as Floyd, Dave and many other names"

P:"Once in a while when you have need, call upon me, who is king of all sock toys. When the work is due and the computer is sick, call upon me and I will be there. For I am in the heart of the child within the adult. And I am ever with thee. You who would fain indulge in poor humor and rude body noises, I will teach thee. I have come to tell you that if it lookith gross and soundeth worse, if others turn away in embarrassment, if it causeth others to burst forth in laughter and no one is harmed, then you have stumble into the true path of the spirit of Sock Monkey. So spread humor, good will, and anything else that needs spreading, all in my name, crying "Oh, oh, ah, ah" For behold all acts of obnoxiousness and tacklessness are my Rituals. I have been with thee since bad Knock Knock Jokes And I am that which is attained at the end of Limericks.

PS:Takes the bread and ripping off a piece passes it to the covener on left. The cup is passed as needed.

CONCLUSION
PS: "Let us take hands and know the Sock Monkey is within us all, to keep us from taking things too seriously, and the trickster fool teaches us the best lessons."

All: "Oh Oh Ah Ah Ah!"

CLOSING
PS: "Thanks Dude! See ya later!"

P: Walks to the west and waves intoning "Love you, bye-bye!" Repeats to east, then south, then north, or in any random order.

P:"Th-Th-That's all folks. It's a circle."

Ritual © Lady Shadow 1999