Pagan One-liners

These jokes have been passed around for years through word-of-mouth, e-mail and web sites. The orginal authors are unkown. If you have any jokes to add to this list, send them to Apytthia. Don't forget to include your name so that you may be properly credited.

Q: What do you say to an angry witch?
A: Ribbit

Q: What's the best thing about Pagan friends?
A: They worship the ground you walk on.

Q: How can you tell a blonde pagan closed the circle?
A: There's white-out on the floor

Q: Why do witches use Brooms?
A: Because nature abhors a vacuum.

Q: What do ya' call 13 Witches in a hot tub?
A: A Self-Cleaning Coven

Q: What happens when a Ceremonial Magician gets angry?
A: He goes Qua-ballistic.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid?
A: Someone who worships the tree that is not there.

Q: If a Witch practices on the beach, is she a Sandwich?

Q: What's the difference between a New Ager and a Pagan?
A: A decimal point. An item you'll pay $300 to a New Ager for, you can get from a local Pagan for $30.

Q: How do you tell a New Age witch from a NeoPagan Witch?
A: You throw them both in the water. The NeoPagan Witch will float, whereas the New Age Witch will sink under the weight of all their overpriced crystals....

Q: Why did the blond pagan have a lasso?
A: She wanted to draw down the moon.

Q: Why did the blond pagan have a remote control?
A: She wanted to channel.

Q: How can you tell a blonde pagan closed the circle?
A: There's white-out on the floor.

A skeptic goes in to see a fortune teller. "You are the father of 2 children," the fortune teller says. "That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!," says the man. "That's what you think," says the fortune teller.

What's the best thing about Pagan friends? They worship the ground you walk on...

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid? --Someone who worships the tree that is not there.

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid mathematician? --Someone who worships the square roots of the tree that is not there

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid veternarian? --Someone who worships the bark of the tree that is not there.

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